ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Towering feet taller,
glaring down, freezing cold eyes.
Pit in stomach growing deeper,
prickling frail fingers.
Stare up, swallow hard,
step forward.
glaring down, freezing cold eyes.
Pit in stomach growing deeper,
prickling frail fingers.
Stare up, swallow hard,
step forward.
Literature
Confession
Lips met in clumsy haiku,
against each other, pressed,
the way the earth touches the sky,
soft and whimsy as the dusk.
Tongues painted passion-
sunset colors,
halcyon atmosphere, infused,
-upon every awaiting space offered.
Metaphors dotted the hallows of limbs and tasted like the seasons-
a bursting and vibrant spring,
a hot and passionate summer,
Literature
On my way home
By Romy Lara
I exit the studio, sighing at the sight of the sun quietly hiding behind the trees and buildings. Turn to the right and keep walking. Cars are passing by, people in black suits get out from the nearest buildings; none of them care about their surroundings. I lift up my head and notice in big steel-letters the name of the company that owns that peculiar orange building in the corner of the street. It's the first time I see it. The sky is painted blue with some dabs of gray, just as if somehow the color of the concrete street had been absorbed by the clouds.
Behind me there's a couple discussing something about a house. She doesn
Literature
Which Bathroom?
I am not a boy, not a girl
skinny pants with no bump
hips hidden by long shirts
yet I tape my chest everyday
so I can look like me
these eyes look past shapes
seeing souls and inner thoughts
hearing those judgements who can't stand
to stay in somebodies head
'Are you a boy or a girl?'
Can't i just be a person?
walking and talking just like you
moving to the beat of time
The thumping in my chest
ba-bump
ba-bump
ba-bump
singing of a free land
free to express how I want
as a person who likes people
without:
a)Female
b)Male
because I am
c)Both
d)Neither
depending on the time of day
but that cannot be
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
This is from the prompt "There was No Way This Could be a Fair Fight." That's kind of a mouthful... XP But I like how it ended up in couplets... haha
Is the imagery strong enough, or is it too short for the senses to be conveyed?? D:
Is the imagery strong enough, or is it too short for the senses to be conveyed?? D:
© 2012 - 2024 dwkeiko
Comments14
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hello. I'm doing a critique for :theWrittenRevolution:
The way I'll start is by answering your questions and then giving you some of my own personal feelings and advice.
Vision: 5/5
Originality: 4/5
Technique: 5/5
Technique: 5/5
Personally the I believe that yes, you could have added more description when it came to the senses however I also believe that right now, its beautiful just the way it is. I liked the way that the poem suggested a rhyme or rhythm because when I was reading it for the first time it felt kind of like a song.
My favorite line was
Stare up, swallow hard,
step forward.
The words were beautiful because they kind of blended together not only because all the words started with an 'S' but also because it also implied transition.
The way I'll start is by answering your questions and then giving you some of my own personal feelings and advice.
Vision: 5/5
Originality: 4/5
Technique: 5/5
Technique: 5/5
Personally the I believe that yes, you could have added more description when it came to the senses however I also believe that right now, its beautiful just the way it is. I liked the way that the poem suggested a rhyme or rhythm because when I was reading it for the first time it felt kind of like a song.
My favorite line was
Stare up, swallow hard,
step forward.
The words were beautiful because they kind of blended together not only because all the words started with an 'S' but also because it also implied transition.